Hunger turns TV commercials to iffy messages

Maybe hunger sparks distaste for TV commercials.

When a person’s hungry, nothing is good. But really, who writes these things?

Oh, I’ve got plenty of for instances. Like the constipation medication. Tells you how good it is, how it will help, then lets fly with disclaimers. Do not give to children younger than 6. Followed directly by don’t give to children 6 to 17 because it might harm them. Yikes.

They try so hard to skew the message, they forget about being trustworthy.

Like the carpet cleaners who are shampooing a room full of furniture and miraculously turn a tan carpet white. That family must have had exceptionally dirty feet.

Then there’s a luxury hotel spouting a low rate of $59 a night per person. Per person. Would serve them right if a huge group of singles showed up and their $120 rooms sold hotel wide for $59 a person. Of course, there might be a mandatory two-person limit, but nobody mentions that. There may not be, but just listening to the commercial, you’d never know.

I’m not saying every commercial is iffy. I like the one for T-shirts that are two inches longer, so when you bend, you don’t peek out. And ads for candy bars never exaggerate. Nope, all they’ve got to do is show somebody pulling apart a gooey chunk of caramel and chocolate and people want to lick the screen.

Well, I want to lick the screen.

Trying to diet is a horrible existence. I can’t even go to Tres Amigos, my favorite Mexican restaurant. Just thinking about going there spikes my blood sugar and adds five pounds to my belly.

I remember the time I ate lunch there, then went to a doctor’s appointment and I’d gained three pounds from just four days earlier. That taught me two lessons. Don’t makes appointments so close together and don’t eat a big lunch right before said appointment.

For me, dieting is much easier when I’m unhappy, and, well, I’ve been unhappy these past few weeks. Trouble is, if happy does hit me upside the head, hunger comes with it, and I eat anything that can’t run away. To deal with this, I have very little food in the fridge. In theory, that should work. When I’m not hungry, it does work.

Then something tickles my fancy and I go foraging. I’ve been known to throw a can of green beans covered with a can of cream of chicken soup in the microwave and eat the whole thing. Since I don’t have bread in the house, and forget to buy crackers, that’s all I eat. It’s really hard to have a sandwich without bread, but these days the frozen waffles are looking good for a sandwich.

For a party, I once made a chip dip that used a hollowed-out loaf of bread as the container. I froze the chunks of bread I pulled out just in case I ever wanted to make stuffing. I’ve never made stuffing. Ever.

Thinking about using those pieces with bites of cheese. Small sandwiches. Fewer calories.

So long friends, until the next time when we’re together.

Sandy Mickelson, retired lifestyle editor of The Messenger, may be reached at